Roberta: freed for success
Roberta* has hired me to help her clarify the next step for her burgeoning graphic design business. Progress has happened quickly. Roberta is smart, quick, and multi-talented, with years of corporate experience to draw on. But to my surprise, after a few sessions she hits a wall. Having been very resourceful in researching the pro's and con's of remaining a sole proprietor or expanding and taking on employees, she appears on this coaching call sounding confused and indecisive. This isn't the Roberta I've known. I decide to ask her about it. "Roberta, this is an exciting crossroad for you. You've done your homework well and you're about to make a big decision. But you're hesitant and your voice sounds heavy. What's up?"
Roberta pauses and then clears her throat before saying, "I know I've positioned myself to make a good decision, and yet I feel stuck. It's funny. I keep hearing my mother's voice, 'Bobby, you can do anything you want. Just make it good!' Most women would kill for that kind of support from their mothers, and it's given me much of the self-confidence I've got, but somehow it's also part of being stuck."
On a hunch, I ask another question: "What's the belief you have about yourself and making mistakes?" Without hesitation, Roberta answers, "I don't make mistakes." She is startled by the vehemence of her answer, and then reflects, "I guess that's why I'm having trouble. What if I make the wrong decision?"
Both Roberta and I recognize this is an important turning point. With the help of another pair of eyes, she has discovered the boulder in her path, and she is about to move it over by designing a new attitude toward mistakes. In response to my question, "What belief about yourself can you hold that encompasses your talents and success, and mistakes?" her answer is powerful, and comes easily: "I am someone who makes mistakes in the service of fulfilling my potential." In the pause, she sighs deeply, relieved of the burden of perfection. She's now free to move ahead and claim the success she deserves.
*These stories are composites of many different women's
stories. Actual stories of real clients are held in strictest confidence.
Nina Ham, CPCC, LCSW | Success from the Inside Out
Email Coach Nina | Telephone 510-526-7377
all contents Nina Ham © 2002
