Success E-Letter Vol.1/2 Spring 2001
Intentional Conversation...
an Underused
Networking Tool
Nina Ham, CPPC, LCSW
Networking is a much-touted buzzword: We're advised to cultivate networking relationships to market our services, and we're advised to mine our network when we're launching a career or job change. But some questions may remain. Who do we have these networking conversations with, and how do we distinguish them from purely social conversation?
an unwritten code
A small incident occurred a few days ago that highlighted these questions for me. Driving to my office after a social lunch with new friends, I realized I had given short shrift to their inquiries about my coaching business. Without thinking I seemed to have bowed to an unwritten code, like the one separating Church and State, that says you don't mix business and social. While this code may not dictate as strongly to everyone, and may be observed differently by men and women, I believe we can all benefit from thinking about whether we unwittingly draw a line between networking and social conversation, and whether this is a useful distinction.
networking and social conversation
Social conversation generally doesn't have an intentional agenda. The conversational current meanders wherever it will, spontaneously and mutually created. Any more than a sprinkling of self-promotion is considered bad taste. By contrast, a networking conversation is often more or less intentionally designed. It attempts to establish our credentials and credibility, assess the needs of the other, and attractively and cogently describe what we have to offer. While some service businesses like psychotherapy frown on explicit self-promotion, there is usually tacit understanding that at least one party in a networking conversation wants something.
share a vital part of who we are
By sharply dividing our networking and social conversations, there's a subtle implication that we need to protect our social contacts from the intrusion of business agendas. And yet more and more of us want our work to express meaningful parts of gifts, our values and ourselves. Perhaps a conversation about our work or career aspirations, whether it's with a business associate or a new social contact, should be viewed as an opportunity to share a vital part of who we are, as communicative about ourselves as conversation about family and relationships. Intentionally shaping a conversation to include what excites or moves you in your work, what your challenges are, or what you need support for implicitly acknowledges the interdependent linkages between us all.
Questions for thought:
- What boundaries do you establish between social and networking conversations? What are the beliefs that determine those boundaries?
- How can you be more intentional about letting your social contacts support you in your business or career?
- What do you need to know about another person to become a powerful ally for that person's business or career growth?
Books of Note:
David Whyte's new book, Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity is just out and is a whopper. Take a look, and/or see the next newsletter for a review.
C.J. Hayden's Get Clients Now: A 28-Day Marketing Program for Professionals and Consultants is a very practical guide for developing marketing habits and systems which can be easily integrated into everyday life. It's tailored for people in professional service businesses like psychotherapy or coaching whose "product" is a relationship-based service with the client. From her experience as a marketing consultant, Hayden is sensitive to the ethical marketing standards of certain professions. She outlines marketing concepts that are "user-friendly", adaptable to the personal or professional style of the user. I've found it the single most valuable book on marketing in my library.