Success E-Letter Vol. 6/2 Summer '06
Sustaining Your Success through Personal Hard Times
Some Suggested Do's and Don't
Nina Ham, CPCC, LCSW
We generally think of success as setting the bar high and challenging ourselves, bringing our best, to soar over it. During times of personal tribulation, the path of success can be barely perceptible. Life being what it is, sustainable success must encompass both soaring and trudging.
As you may have noticed, there has been a lengthy hiatus in your Success from the Inside Out ezine issues. Two surgeries and serious illness of a close family member have put “business as usual” out of reach. As glimpses of normalcy begin to return, a friend has suggested there may be some tips to pass on to those of you who are struggling through some type of hardship – health, financial, romance.
When you’ve lost track of priorities
It’s an odd trait of the human mind that when under stress it seems
better able to respond to questions than to initiate ideas. Ask someone to
walk you through an inventory of the things that most need to be done.
Suggestion 1: have no more than 3 items on your “Must Do” list at a time; add more as items get completed.
Suggestion 2: Include a “Do as/when possible”
list of no more than 4 items. As little as five minutes daily spent on each
of them builds forward momentum and accomplishes more than you’d expect.
[For more time management tips, click
here.]
Do: Red flag all mental messages that contain “I should…”
or “Yes, but…” Those messages may be coming from the part
of your mind that refuses to acknowledge how difficult this period of time
is. Take a second look, or better yet talk them over with someone who knows
you well.
Don’t rely on your memory…Write it down! Memory crumbles when under stress.
Don’t: Tasks involving anxiety or frustration will be 10x the normal degree of difficulty. Avoid or postpone them wherever possible.
When you aren’t meeting your own expectations
Are those expectations realistic, within current circumstances? You may not
be the best judge at times like this. Talk it over with someone who knows
your situation wherever possible.
Do: Be candid with others who have legitimate expectations of you. Taking the initiative to explain your situation and be direct about what you can and can’t do during this time can relieve a lot of pressure.
Do: For every task you decide is a “must do”, postpone or hire help for another task. Get your groceries delivered! Hire a Resume writer.
Do: Remember hard times don’t last forever.
Do: Pay attention to “bad moods” and resentments. They’re often indicators that what you may think is a realistic expectation of yourself in fact isn’t.
Do: treat yourself as though you’re convalescing. You are! Rest and treating yourself gently may get you back to where you want to be faster than trying to meet those expectations.
Do: Remember a missed opportunity may well return in a different guise. Keep an open mind after saying “no” to something that’s too much for right now.
Do: Identify one item/day you can ask for help with. And ask!
Success from the inside out is defined as doing and being your best with
whatever presents itself. The perspective and resilience that accrue from
navigating through hard times are crucial building blocks of success. Good
to know…Often difficult to keep in mind! These tips may help you.
Nina Ham, CPCC, LCSW | Success from the Inside Out
Email Coach Nina Ham |
Telephone 510-526-7377
all contents Nina Ham © 2002
