Success E-Letter Vol.2/1 Winter 2002
Change... Psychotherapy or Coaching?
Nina Ham, CPPC, LCSW
People feeling a need for change in their lives are often uncertain whether to look to psychotherapy or to coaching, both highly effective systems for promoting change. As a psychotherapist and coach, I'm often asked to clarify the differences and help people make the best choice. Recognizing that therapy and coaching share much of the same territory, a concise summary of the difference is that therapy emphasizes learning (or understanding), trusting that new actions will follow. Coaching emphasizes action, trusting that learning will follow. People walk through different doorways to change, depending on temperament, kinds of change desired, and stage of life. There is no absolute answer, so invite your intuition to guide you.
Here's another approach to deciding if coaching is for you. While I truly believe coaching can be a valuable resource for most people most of the time, it's worth asking how you know when you can make the best use of it. These are some thoughts I'd suggest you consider.
Can you sustain a commitment to wanting more?
Can you sustain a commitment to wanting more for yourself? Most of us have periods of doubting whether we're worth having the life (or work, or relationship) we want, but we can hear and be touched by belief that a friend or a coach has in us. Low self-esteem and/or depression can block that for periods of time; psychotherapy is probably more effective in these situations.
Are you action-ready?
Related to the previous question, are you action-ready? Can you translate the desire for more or better in your life into intentions and actions? This takes risk and courage! Until we have that courage, or until we can "act as if", we may settle for dreaming and planning (and envying the lives of our friends!), and avoid action.
Do you have the emotional and financial resources?
Coaching, like any process that promotes change, requires resources. Do you have the emotional and financial resources for coaching at this time? Sometimes people are most motivated during times of stress, when everything in their lives is in question. Urgency somehow summons the necessary resources. Other clients take a leave from coaching when difficult emotional issues need attention, to return when their stamina improves. This is particularly important to anticipate if you're considering a job or career change impacting your income stream.
Ownership
Can you maintain binding ownership of your coaching, including assignments, ambitions and failures? In the throes of making changes, it can be tempting to assign responsibility (or blame) to someone else, often your coach: "I can't tell her I haven't done my homework." Again, while occasional lapses are natural, consistent handing over of ownership drains the coaching alliance of its effectiveness.